Loss & Legacy
Have you ever had a friend who is always your voice of reason and comfort? The friend you wouldn’t make a major decision without calling them first. The friend who you phone first if something wonderful or something horrendous has happened to you? The friend who you laugh with until you snort (or worse, depending on your age and pelvic floor condition). The friend who is always in your corner.
Well, I’ve been lucky enough to have a dear friend who is all of that and more – the voice of reason and comfort. Many years ago, Chrissie Griffiths started out as a brilliant work colleague and ended up being one of my family. So it was devastating when we lost our Chrissie to brain cancer in March 2020, she worked so hard to kick its arse for over 18 months, but sadly it wasn’t to be beaten.
Sunrise on a morning walk with Chrissie
As heartbreaking as it is to lose someone too soon, it’s not my goal to focus on lamenting the loss. What I want to focus on is bringing Chrissie’s voice as the first one into this space – she was always nudging me to start writing, I can hear her lovely Hampton accent, “What are you waiting for Hun? Just get bloody started!”.
So I love the idea of keeping the legacy of Chrissie’s wisdom, humour and kindness going with the principles of Behind the Hashtag, she always loved the idea of sharing experiences which might help.
The rules Chrissie lived by were pretty solid and at the very root of them was helping others unconditionally and she never looked for anything in return – just that they were better in some way after she left them. There wasn’t much in life that Chrissie hadn’t seen and I’ve never met anyone so non-judgemental, that doesn’t mean she didn’t have a point of view mind you and often before getting on with helping me, I was on the receiving end of a few “Well that was a bit f£%&ing stupid Hun”. Ironically, Chrissie was always the first to say that life was too short and no one enjoyed a laugh and bit of fun more than her and often pushed us to “stop and smell the roses” even in the middle of really difficult things.
Chrissie & I on one of our walks
As I reflect on Chrissie’s insights and legacy – I’m also drawn to learn from her regrets. No one ever thinks they will get cancer – especially someone who didn’t drink or smoke and lived one of the healthiest lives. So, despite all the wonderful things Chrissie did for others, I also know there were many things she wanted to do for herself but was ‘waiting for a better time’. Sadly for Chrissie, time was not on her side.
My learning from Chrissie’s legacy is NEVER put things off waiting for the ideal time. If you want to do it – just get on with it. My friend’s death has reminded me that nothing in life is guaranteed, so rather than waiting, I’m jumping in now and invite those of you taking the time to read this to do the same.
If you want to make changes in your life, this might be the ideal space to get started!
Thank you, Chrissie, for your legacy.
I just want to say Jean how inspiring your words of Chrissie’s legacy, she absolutely loved you and your gorgeous girl to pieces a truly wonderful uplifting way to portray her live she will live with us forever, love you always darling xx
Maggie – means the world that you could see your amazing sister and her wise voice … so so glad you like this x
Jean
What a wonderful beginning to a wonderful venture!!! You hit all of the right points and underscored the need for us to embrace them completely. Thank you!!!
Fiona, sadly so much loss in our world these days I think it’s a subject all too close to our hearts ♥️
Chrissie was one in a million. As are you!
We often admire qualities in others that we’re not yet ready to own in ourselves.
Losing an awesome friend is painful! Yet it can often be transformative as you appreciate that there’s no better time like the present and the (small) stuff that had seemed so important no longer is.
I do know she’d be super proud of you.
Big hugs!
Carol thank you for those beautiful words of encouragement – I think we’re all seeing life and the world with a very different perspective these days ?